2.20.2007

Body Language - Part 2

Kinesics

The importance of body language is recognized worldwide - there will not be a training for sales people and management in which the study of body language is absent, for instance. In 1970 Julius Fast wrote his famous book "Body Language." In it he writes about the study of the language of the body and called it: kinesica. More recent developed theories on human functioning have given life to Neuro Linguistic Programming. NLP uses body language as its main source of information to tell more about the way we operate as people, by ourselves or when we are together. For instance, we adjust our body position all the time to our environment when we are in company or in a public place. It has been researched that we have a higher success rate of getting our message across to another when we take on a similar position as him/her. Unconsciously we copy the others? movements like crossing and uncrossing legs, turning our bodies this way or that. In NLP this process is called modeling and could also be referred to as building rapport.


Love Signals

A great deal of our nonverbal communication bespeaks sexuality. Despite speech, courtship is best transacted in an unspoken medium through, e.g., lip-pouts, head-tilts, and shoulder-shrugs. Verbally saying "I love you" before showing love nonverbally in gesture, posture, and deed is apt to scare a partner away.

The lesson here? Don't tell a girl "I love you" too soon. Instead use body language gestures and nonverbal communication to show your feelings of interests. If you tell her your feelings, but you're too nervous and your body language in not in tune, she might perceive your verbal speech as insincere. First try to use non verbal signals. See also Rapport and Mirroring.


Masculinity

"Keep shoulders broad but posture not *too* straight; keep eye contact; look other men in the eye and don't do the "down & away"; don't cover face unless you are acting mischievous; slow movements; deep tonality; move from either the hips or the shoulders (generally); broad arm movements; move with a sense that you occupy a great deal of space -- that you have a large domain or territory; make your eyes expressive of emotion and not of excitement; don't be afraid to grab her or "handle" her -- **be able to guide her** and have the confidence to do so: learn to really dance (waltz, salsa, samba, flamenco, etc.) and this'll become second nature." alt.seduction.fast


Right Brain vs. Left Brain

This theory of the structure and functions of the mind suggests that the two different sides of the brain control two different "modes" of thinking.

Experimentation has shown that the two different sides, or hemispheres, of the brain are responsible for different manners of thinking. The following table illustrates the differences between left-brain and right-brain thinking:

Left Brain:

Logical

Sequential

Rational

Analytical

Objective

Looks at parts


Right Brain: Random

Intuitive

Holistic

Synthesizing

Subjective

Looks at wholes


Some individuals have a distinct preference for one of these styles of thinking. Some, are more whole-brained and equally adept at both modes. In general, academia tend to favor left-brain modes of thinking, while downplaying the right-brain ones. Left-brain scholastic subjects focus on logical thinking, analysis, and accuracy. Right-brained subjects, on the other hand, focus on aesthetics, feeling, and creativity.


Pacing and Leading

Pacing and leading is one of the keys to influencing people. It refers to meeting them at their map of the world (pacing) and then taking them where you want them to go (leading.) Rapport is a basic, behavioural signal that you have met someone at their map of the world. The simplest, most effective test for rapport is "if you lead, they follow."

2) Choose a safe situation to practise mirroring an element of someone else?s behaviour. When you have mirrored them for a while, and think you are in rapport with the person, scratch your nose. If they lift their hand to their face within the next minute or so, congratulate yourself ? you have led their behaviour!

Skilled communicators have a wide range of behaviours they can mirror to build rapport. You can find a way to mirror virtually anything you can observe.

3) Increase the range of behaviours that you can mirror, and introduce deliberate rapport-building into situations where it will benefit you and others (nb. Use your common sense and choose low-risk situations to practice in.)

Note: It is possible to get rapport without pacing by being outrageous and/or dynamic in a way that drawn in the audience and catches their attention.

See Also: Mirroring, Rapport


Pupil Dilation

The dilation of the pupils is an increase in the diameter of the pupils as they get bigger to take in more light as it gets darker. Dilating pupils is also indicative of interest. One can subconsciously tell if the other person is eager to see them by the size of the pupils in the other persons eyes. When the pupils are large in normal lighting conditions, the persons eagerness and alert perception is noticed. A person with fake interest would be smiling and showing positive gestures, but their pupils would remain small, thus giving the person away.

Pupil Dilation combined with Shining Eyes and Binocular Disparity could be used in communicating enthusiasm and warmth towards the subject.

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Anonymous said...

after a few time been together, my girl and I know the signals, in a occassion she bought me a viagra online magazine, in that edition we learn a lot of things, specially in this field.

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