2.19.2007

THE CAVIAR OF SEX

The following excerpt is from the self help
psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.


THE CAVIAR OF SEX (as defined by a woman): sex in a context of a loving long-term committed relationship.

THE CAVIAR OF SEX (as defined by a man): sex with a Hollywood sex symbol.


While many, perhaps most, men eventually do move toward the above woman's view about the ideal sexual experience, this move usually does not come from following a "should." Instead, they discover that sex in a loving relationship is more satisfying than a quickie with a new partner. They change their view out of experience. Unfortunately, many men never seem to grow up in this regard because of their fear of a deep lasting relationship.


Tip for men who want more sex: Pay close attention to how your sexual WORDS are affecting your partner. Some words will be offensive and some will be arousing, depending upon your partner.

It is also unfortunate that many women who believe that loving sex is the caviar of sex often put down other forms of sexual expression. For them, sex in a significant relationship becomes the only OK form of sexual expression. While significant relationships might be wonderful, they are not always available. Not everyone at all times has them. Yet our sexuality is ever present. Sometimes it leads women into totally inappropriate relationships just to satisfy (1)a sex urge or (2)a neurotic trap of "you should be in relationship."


A belief in the necessity for an open marriage is not popular. Yet the freedom to explore outside marriage does seem essential for some, whether or not they do roam. Those who react most negatively to infidelity seem often confronted with it. Earth School lessons (see Chapter 11) may be at work here, giving such people roaming partners. Thus, they have the opportunity to move beyond their fears and unhappy feelings about unfaithfulness. Another @#$%^& growth opportunity! Many were horrified by the O'Neills' book, Open Marriage, and badly misinterpreted its meaning. (An open marriage does not imply that sex with partners outside the relationship will take place, but that the freedom is given to one's partner to do so.) Despite its controversy, Open Marriage contains valuable information about marriage and ways to move beyond one's discomfort with a roaming partner. I recommend that you read it if infidelity and/or a roaming partner are part of your life.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Premature ejaculation was ruining my sex life but Viagra gave me the necessary confidence. After 6 months, the problem has gone and I am far more relaxed. Probably the best thing about these pills is that their effect is felt soon and now after taking the pill every day for 6 months my sexual performance has gone up and my wife is extremely excited about the progress. THANK YOU http://www.buy-viagra-with-us.com/ "!

AdSense