Body Language - Part 3

Push Pull Technique

In the song Yellow by Coldplay, Chris Martin demonstrates using body language a Push Pull example.

"Because I love you so". Stops, looks back, turns around, gives you a chance to leave, gives you space. Then when he sees that you really do want him, you would wait for him and you in the camera are there slowing down to stay with him. The camera was moving gradually along the beach and he was walking forward along the beach. Both he and the camera were together, that is how we could see him, and now that he slows down, we see that we are slowing down for him. But he doesn't make us, the audience wait, he is the one who comes back. The camera is staying there, looking at him and he comes back, tight after he looks around first: Push, Pull.

Make your move, then if the girl's not going for it by saying yes right away, just give some space. If she waits for you to come back; she's yours.


Upon re-entering our home (after several hours of absence), we feel a peculiar need to wander about the space to "check" for intruders. In mammals, this behavior is known as reconnaissance: ". . . in which the animal moves round its range in a fully alerted manner so that all its sense organs are used as much as possible, resulting in maximal exposure to stimuli from the environment. It thus 'refreshes its memory' and keeps a check on everything in its area. This is a regular activity in an already familiar environment, which does not require the stimulus of a strange object.

Shining Eyes

The eyes have a tiny gland on the bottom of the eyelid secreting liquids such as tears for use as lubrication. When a person is interested or excited, the glands tend to secrete liquid thus giving the eyes a shiny appearance.

During courtship, shining eyes are used extensively to indicate a sign or attraction in the other person. When describing a guy, the girl might say "there was something in his eyes." "The lover's eyes" is another term used to mark their characteristic appearance.

In practice, it is very hard to have shining eyes without having genuine intentions, therefore there is the belief that people can tell one another's motives subconsciously through face to face interaction.

Shining Eyes combined with Pupil Dilation and Binocular Disparity subconsciously communicate enthusiasm and warmth towards the subject.


The body plans of most animals, including humans, exhibit mirror symmetry, also called bilateral symmetry. They are symmetric about a plane running from head to tail (or toe).

Bilateral symmetry is so prevalent in the animal kingdom that many scientists think that it can't be a coincidence. After all, there are infinitely more ways to construct an asymmetrical body than a symmetrical one. And yet, fossilized evidence shows that bilateral symmetry had already taken hold in animals as early as 500 million years ago.

Therefore, bilateral symmetry must have evolved for a reason, the thinking goes. And over the years, scientists have come up with a number of hypotheses about what that reason might be. According to one, a body that is bilaterally symmetrical is easier for the brain to recognize while in different orientations and positions, thus making visual perception easier.

Another popular hypothesis is that symmetry evolved to help with mate selection. Experiments with birds and insects revealed that females prefer to mate with males possessing the most symmetrical sexual ornaments. Peahens, for example, prefer peacocks with more extravagant and symmetrical tails, and female barn swallows prefer males with long, symmetrical tail feathers.

Human experiments also show similar patterns.

Experiments have found that women are more attracted to men who have features that are more symmetrical than other men. One study even found that women have more orgasms during sex with men who were more symmetrical, regardless of their level of romantic attachment or the guys' sexual experience.

The connection between body symmetry and mate selection began to make sense when researchers started finding correlations between symmetry and health. One study found that men with asymmetric faces tend to suffer more from depression, anxiety, headaches and even stomach problems. Women with facial asymmetry are less healthy and more prone to emotional instability and depression.

Another study found that the more asymmetric a person's body was, the more likely they were to show signs of aggression when provoked.

Symmetry is also prevalent in the physical sciences and is woven into the very laws that govern our universe.


Tapping is a defensive gesture or a warning sign for a person not to come any closer. It doesn't necessarily mean that one wants the other person to leave, unless the tapping becomes very loud and even audible from a distance, which is then the area from which the person doing the tapping wants the people around them to clear.

It is not an aggressive signal, but that of mainly wanting to hold things off, not come any close, keep things the way they are. The auditory effect of the tapping also has the verbal effect of not wanting to be disturber with conversation. The sound itself is meant to block of other sound as another person might try to speak and has a psychological effect of distracting the brains auditory cortex. It's like turning on the radio to distract oneself from noisy neighbors arguing across the hall, or pretending to be listening to a walkman when someone is trying to start a conversation.

Tapping in a physical sense also serves to designate one's territory. In a classroom setting or an office environment, one might tap their pencil against the side of the table meaning that he/she's busy so that nobody sits next to them in order to maintain the concentration.

Tense Eyes

The eyes themselves don't tense as much as the eye lids around them and in tense situation, more particularly the lower eye lids. The eye lids close in around the eyes limiting their vision and in effect having an expression of zeroing in or targeting someone. When the eye lids are smaller it's hard to see the surrounding area, so the person has one location in their scope of vision in mind. It is the opposite of open body language and a sign of closed body language. In open body language a person is friendly willing and receptive. When the eyes are smaller, they are showing that they are not receptive. They are focused on one particular area of importance usually because it is perceived as a threat or a source of trouble.

The eyes can also be tense sometimes when a person is concentrating on a task, such as reading an important document, or working on an assignment, however, when dealing with personal interaction, tense eyes are very specifically associated with unfriendliness or hostility. Tensing of the eyelids could also help one so see better as the tension helps in the shaping of the eyes to focus. When a person is working on a task and not involved in a social setting, tense eyes would indeed be a method for the person to focus better. In a social setting people have adapted to use tense eyes as a means of communicating suspicion or wariness, particularly of an intellectual basis as opposed to emotional or personal.

A tense or unfriendly expression in the eyes is a sign that the person is disliking something that is something analytical or of technical nature. For instance when one's wife has tense eyes it could mean that she doesn't trust her husband in something like doing the bills or renovating the house. It doesn't mean that she's suspecting him of having an affair or believes he's forming an emotional attachment with another woman. The eyes mainly reveal thought processes and not matters of the hearth, unless a person evaluates their personal relationships on an analytical level, which is rarely so.


Anonymous said...

the point about the eyes, oh man! women are experts in that matter, when a women look at you, there's several options, one of then mean "yeah come on" other "don't come any closer" and finally "better take a look in viagra online to the next time".

Anonymous said...

Shana is a Certified Body Language Trainer and instructor who possess a Bachelor’s, Master’s, and Doctorate Degrees in Education. Shana wakes up each morning with a smile on her face, knowing that she has the ability to inspire, body language of women, motivate, and make a profound difference in other people’s lives by helping them achieve their goals.